I have learned, I am learning

 

 

Rosewater-halfsizer

I HAVE LEARNED

Beautiful Autumn Day! Blessings to all who take the time to read my heart and my life lessons learned. There is nothing more important to me than being genuine even if I have to point out my own shortcomings and things I have learned. I hope my vulnerability will bless you too.

I love autumn. I love the fall because I was born in September and Autumn represents to me a kinder more colorful change in seasons. People who know me well –know that my life is filled with vivid color—intense living, dedicated working and profound loving. I am truly grateful for every single moment of my life that is why I savor each and every moment.

I was reflecting as the sun was coming up this morning (Asahi) that every single moment I have lived—I made it a priority to focus on encouraging healthy communication, genuine love and sincere compassion. Yet– I ask myself this morning–have I lived by the same standards I encourage of others?

Awareness sometimes brings pain .These past three years have been a whirlwind of life lessons for me. The experience of working with and serving the most privileged of people, collaborating with movers and shakers–continually evaluating and promoting important change together with leaders in our state and throughout our nation–has opened my eyes. I can no longer be naive about the significance of those who are called to lead. I can no longer stick my head in the sand about leadership—its influence and its destruction.

Helplessness brings strength through others. Perhaps the revelation was overwhelming–my body got very sick.  I was helpless and faced the potential end of my yet young life. It was my three sons who motivated me to push pass the surgery and the pain of recovery. They were the courage and strength I did not have. Very close friends and family came forward and loved me back to full strength. I learned who genuinely cared about me. I also found renewed strength–courage I did not know I had.  It was humbling. It was through the love of others that opened me to the call of Creator.

Humility and strength bring focus. The past fourteen months have been perhaps the most significant series of life lessons. One right after another–I was challenged to become aware. My eyes were open. I can no longer be naive.

  • I have learned that deception comes dressed in many fanciful packages and I need to utilize my new eyes for a broader perspective and deeper understanding. 
  • I have learned Creator will bring help through surprisingly unexpected circumstances and through people you never assumed.
  • I have learned never assume anything.  
  • I have learned that despite good intentions, patience is indeed virtue and required to ensure meaningful change and impact.
  • I have learned I need to synchronize my energy at the pace of others of those I serve in order to implement the genuine change that will help people even those– who do not see “the good” in the moment.
  • I have learned that change is not helpful unless it is understood and received as it is intended.
  • I learned that despite all of the love in my heart that I must accept that sometimes people chose to remain in pain. I have learned I have to accept the choices people make.
  • I have learned that the beauty of life also encompasses the tragedy of cyclical life patterns –especially those disguised as survival skills burrowed deep within our genetic makeup.
  • I have learned—that yes–resistance to change exists even within me and the fears and bitterness of others will infiltrate my spirit if I am not mindful. I have learned change requires disruption and discomfort—so we must be respectful and patient–even of ourselves.
  • I have learned that alone—I can change nothing even for the better.
  • I have learned to enjoy the moments of “just being” as my beloved Atwai  C. (whose name I cannot speak for a year) taught me. She beckoned me to enjoy the horses who come to visit and the song of the Rez dogs announcing a new day, to treasure the rising of the sun over the mountains and the setting of sun on days I gave my entire heart.
  • I have learned from her that laughter is essential and to find humor in our own imperfections. I have learned that humility is paramount to awareness.
  • I have learned that awareness is the first step to developing wisdom.
  • I have learned I am still very far from perfect and thank goodness for that-(as we both chuckle at the absurdity of such a statement) understand I have tried so hard my entire life to live up to the expectation of others.
  • I have learned from a very young age that no matter how I try in earnest– perfection is unattainable and perhaps excellence in character and integrity is far more important. Yes–I have learned. 
  • I have learned –I am human and fallible and must continually humble myself before Creator to be open myself to the lesson of the day.
  • I have learned that time is indeed fleeting. I have learned to be still and listen to our four legged companions, those mammals who protect our oceans and the winged ones who soar above us.
  • I have learned life does indeed come full circle.
  • I have learned that every moment spent with my Mother, my three sons, my family and those who truly treasure my being are far more important than wasting time on correcting a mistruth or righting a wrong. Yes–I have learned this one well. 
  • I have learned to trust Creator for the heavy lifting. I have learned that whining and worrying do absolutely no good.
  • I have learned that the traditions so many of us have forgotten or perhaps never fully learned are invaluable to our balance, our centeredness and our wellbeing.
  • I have learned that while trying desperately to share my love with all I encounter that shutting myself off to any potential of love restricted my capability to fully love.
  • I have learned love will find you when you open yourself up to love. I am smiling (right now as I write) re-learning the beauty and innocence of a love from someone who wants nothing more than to love me fully—as Creator intended.
  • I have learned that in the privacy of sound counsel—I must deeply listen and receive wisdom and allow myself the grace that is given in that moment. 
  • I have learned that it is my time to also participate in the sharing of the wisdom Creator has bestowed upon me with our young ones but with humility and compassion. I have learned that despite all of the many struggles I have faced that all human beings face their own battles and to be gracious.
  • I have learned that it is as important to become aware of the spiritual “pulse” of a person as simply the emotional or intellectual expression.
  • I have learned that what the Zen Masters taught me in Japan about Ichi-go, Ichi-e One Moment, and One time–is as applicable now as it was when I was seventeen years old–eager to understand the meaning of life. Every moment is a treasure. 

I am learning it is OK to love deeply, to care genuinely and to believe in the best in people but to utilize the “rose water of traditional cleansing ceremony”  to keep my heart and my spirit pure and most importantly open. I want to be of best use in this life I have been given. I have learned, I am learning, I will learn.

Genuinely from the heart,

Elizabeth Asahi Rising Sun Sato

 

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